The Past Is Never Far
I've been feeling a little down for the past few days. I don't know what it is. Possibly the weather...it was freezing here...literally. Ice was on the street, on sidewalks, on driveways...even the yards were iced over. It's weird, the weather here. Usually, we have sweltering summers that are HORRIBLE beyond comparison (do NOT try to tell me otherwise), and then the winters are usually dry but frigid. Last summer was actually mild compared to years past...and this winter? I've worn summer clothes (capris and flip flops) many days in December, January, and February. Mild wouldn't come close to describing it. So, it was somewhat a shock to us all when a cold front came through on Friday...it got cold, and then colder, and still colder...even colder...sleet began to fall...colder still. We were amazed. Most of the cold fronts this season have been really weak and not lasted long. Well, by Friday night, it was too cold and the sleet was coming down so much that no one wanted to get out in it. It was a nasty nasty night. Then, we had to get out in it on Saturday morning (early) to do something for my relatives. It was awful. Everything was so icy and it was cold and the wind was blowing. Suffice it to say, we didn't stay out in it for much longer than we had to. So, most of Saturday was spent inside freezing and trying earnestly to stay warm. Sunday came, and we finally had to venture out to get to church...yeah they didn't even call off church for our little icy wintery storm. By the time church was over, we were ready to get back in the house and stay put. And, I think this being static (look it up, folks) all weekend caused my blue feelings. I don't know. Whatever it was is gone now. See, I had breakfast with my father this morning. I'd like to say that my dad is the reason that I'm not down anymore...and I think he probably helped greatly, but the real reason I'm not down comes after breakfast. I was driving home, adjusting the heat in my car when I pulled up to a stop light. I was going through radio stations and landed on one that happened to be playing a song from back when I was in junior high (Name). I turned it up because it's a good song. So, I'm sitting there in my toasty warm car looking at the gray sky and listening to this old song...and suddenly I had this feeling. It was like I was back in time, in junior high again. I mean, I knew that I wasn't 14 again...I was aware that I was sitting in my car, 23 years old, driving home...but I don't know...it was just a feeling of a memory...a good feeling. I get that way a lot when I hear songs. I guess some people would call it nostalgia...but nostalgia doesn't exactly describe it...it's not a bittersweet moment. I always get happy. I never wish I was back in that time. Rather, I always think about how I did have that moment in time, and how happy I am for it. So, I started thinking, and I came to this conclusion. My life has had its fair share of ups and downs, of course...I've had good days along with bad ones...I've gone through things no human should ever have to go through, and likewise I've had some amazingly awesome stuff happen that I'm so thankful for...it all comes down to this one thing...I have memories...I have a past...good or bad...dull or interesting, I AM someone...I have a history...I can remebere that things happened to me because I'm alive and I've lived them...and better yet, all of those memories are unique to me. Sure some people I was with at one time in one of those memories might remember it...but they will not remember it the same exact way that I do...also, they dont' have all the rest of the memories that I have...and, it is a really comforting thought to know that you are someone...that you have thoughts and a history and stories to tell. It makes me feel really good.
I Think I Have A Tapeworm.
Ok guys, I know you've been waiting in anticipation of my next blog entry...I know you all want to know how Valentine's day went and if I am still talking to my boys or if I kicked them to the curb. Rest assured, they came through in big ways (as if I would have disowned them if they hadn't...I'm too much of a softie). So, let's see...last week was kind of slow and boring. I cooked dinner some, which was fun. The boys loved it. I bonded with the mother lady on Saturday. Got some cool clothes...cute underwear (pink!)...a cool ring. We heard horrendous karoke at the mall. That's pretty much the highlight of last week...well, besides seeing Master Splinter.
So, Valentine's day was interesting. I wasn't expecting much...it's good not to expect much...you get surprised well. At work, there were flowers...lillies and roses with a balloon from the boys. Then, I came home after work and there was this little "find the clue" hunt for me from the boys. I got a balloon, cookie cake, bottle of Vault (the most AMAZING stuff on the planet), Billy Corgan CD, box of Godiva truffles, and a kick ass purse much like the kick ass pink purse at Christmas except black instead. Oh, and a sweet note. :) We then proceeded to stuff ourselves with Greek food...my favorite...and all was well in the land of me. It wasn't exactly eventful...It wasn't the most romantic thing in the world...but it WAS very special to me...made me feel more special than I've ever felt. My boys are awesome! It's about damn time that some guy made some effort at an elaborate plan for me. I was excited!
So, tonight we went out to eat...there's this waiter who we've had before. He started asking us questions and if we were in a band or something...turns out he plays drums and was in a local band, so we talked to him for awhile. He gave us contact info, so we might get together with him for some stuff. If nothing else, it looks like we've got a new friend...which is completely awesome. I look forward to hanging out with him and possibly working on music and stuff. It's nice because Charles got called up, so he can't play with us and K. is not going to work out either. So, not only are we losing bandmates but losing friends...it's good to find some new ones along the way.
So, that's life for the second. I'm too tired to be insightful or write more. Take care and be good and don't eat rocky mountain oysters!
The Return of Master Splinter
A little back story...back in high school in World History class, there was this kid Joe. He used to pick on people he hated. Pretty common story, eh? Anyway, in our World History class was this one girl...there's no way nice to say it...she looked like a rat. Her teeth were pushed very closely together, and her front teeth stuck out. Also, her nose was really skinny and pointy...she looked like a rat. It's ok. People can look like animals. Anyway, she was kind of a...um...bitch. No, there was no "kind of" about it...she was a mega bitch. She was really rude and obnoxious and got all up in people's business all the time. Everyone in class hated her. Including Joe. And since he hated her so much, he decided to pick on her by giving her the worst possible, yet most fitting nickname he could find...He started calling her Master Splinter. It wasn't much of a stretch anyway. So all year long, she would talk and his reply would be "Shut up, Master Splinter!" It was kind of sad but also kind of funny since she was so mean to everyone.
Anyway...today I had to do some grocery shopping after work. Wally World was the closest place, so we went there. When I got to the front of the line and looked up, I almost had a cow! It was Master Splinter! At first I wasn't sure. I told myself it couldn't possibly be, but then, I saw her name tag...sure enough...Master Splinter and I had reunited over bar codes at Wal-Mart! I was...speechless. It was crazy! This is someone who I never in a zillion years thought I would run across again. And, she's still the same old Master Splinter...complaining, being obnoxious and just being a bitch in general..all whilst working at Wal-Mart...NOT that there is anything wrong with that...but it was just funny to me for some reason. So yeah...Master Splinter is alive and well and working in your local Wal-Mart.
6 More Weeks of THIS?!
So, Phil saw his shadow...or so I'm told...that means 6 more weeks of wintery weather, right? Uh...it's been hot here...no, I mean REALLY FREAKING HOT. I mean, so hot I've been wearing flip flops, capris, had the a/c turned up the highest it will go in my pathetic little white car...that kind of hot. Now, I know where I live we don't usually get much snowfall, but this is ridiculous...I mean, usually it is frigid during this time of the year. It at least stays cold enough to wear more than a light jacket when you go outside. Many days, I would be late for class because my windows were all icy and I hadn't started warming the car early enough. This year? Hot...completely hot...I mean, I rarely wear anything more than a light jean jacket (and that's like once every couple of weeks or later at night when it actually dips down into some cooler temps.)...I got these cute ugg-like boots to wear this winter...what a waste! And, what does it mean when we're already having unseasonable weather and Phil sees his shadow? Does that mean we will finally get the winter weather I've been waiting all year for? Does it mean that we get 6 more weeks of a pan-tropical winter? What? Someone tell me, please!
So, life has been going. I've felt kind of bleh lately...sinus junk or something. It's almost too much to wake up, get ready, work, come home, and eat. I'm just unusually fatigued right now. I think it's all the weather changes...I get bad sinus infections and stuff in the spring and fall, but never really in the summer or winter. Since this year has been so strange, I think I'm suffering more than my fair share of sinus junk, out of season.
The band is all screwed up now because some people in it aren't exactly responsible. This is really no surprise to me since one person specifically has screwed us in the past. There's no really nice way to put it...he really did screw us. I've never really completely trusted him since then, but I've tried not to let it affect things...and it hasn't; however, his careless consideration for fellow bandmates and lack of time management skills have forced us into an awkward position. We have to tell someone who has been our friend first, for quite a few years, and also a bandmate that we think he needs to step down. I mean, I think he will be relieved in some sense, but I also think he will not see it as something that we did because he wouldn't meet us halfway...I think he will think we just don't like him or aren't willing to work with him. We've been willing to work...we practiced on nights that weren't exactly convienent for us because it was the supposed "only" night he could practice. We all gave up a lot of our personal time not just on practice nights but on many occassions for this person both on a friendship and bandmate level, and he does nothing for us. We practice on the night he wants, yet he does not show up. We make plans to practice or record and he swears he will be there and then doesn't make it. It just can't continue like this. I'm finally out of school, and I have a couple of years to try to make my dreams come true. I'm not going to let someone who screwd up my band in the past (many years ago, maybe someday I'll tell you guys the story), screw up my chances now. I finally have some awesome people who I trust and feel comfortable around to work with...and we have an energy among us...one person will not destroy that. So, hopefully we will be able to get stuff worked out soon and really get down to business. The other bandmate that isn't really doing much is doing as much as he can do right now...he practices when he can and works on stuff at home and comes over to work on stuff all the time...he just couldn't make the practices on the night that the other person wanted them...but he's doing everything he can, so I think now we will be able to practice with him since we don't have to practice on the nights he works. The rest of us are flexible. It's just annoying to be screwed with. I guess I should be used to it by now because people have done it to me so much...it always surprises and annoys me.
Ok...onto happy things. Valentine's Day is soon. I'm excited. I enjoy the holiday of love...I mean, I know you should tell people that you love, "i love you" every day, but I like the fact that there is a day set aside just to make someone you care about feel really special. I'm still trying to figure out what to do for the boys...I wonder what they have planned for me...so many secrets...I usually don't like secrets or surprises, but for V-day, it's totally cool.
And, I guess that's about it...life is good but boring. I enjoy spending time with certain people very much. I'm entertained quite often. I can't ask for much more, other than a job, a bazillion dollars, a pet moose, and oppertunities to travel and see and experience cool things. Have fun, be merry, and don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!
