The Past Is Never Far
I've been feeling a little down for the past few days. I don't know what it is. Possibly the weather...it was freezing here...literally. Ice was on the street, on sidewalks, on driveways...even the yards were iced over. It's weird, the weather here. Usually, we have sweltering summers that are HORRIBLE beyond comparison (do NOT try to tell me otherwise), and then the winters are usually dry but frigid. Last summer was actually mild compared to years past...and this winter? I've worn summer clothes (capris and flip flops) many days in December, January, and February. Mild wouldn't come close to describing it. So, it was somewhat a shock to us all when a cold front came through on Friday...it got cold, and then colder, and still colder...even colder...sleet began to fall...colder still. We were amazed. Most of the cold fronts this season have been really weak and not lasted long. Well, by Friday night, it was too cold and the sleet was coming down so much that no one wanted to get out in it. It was a nasty nasty night. Then, we had to get out in it on Saturday morning (early) to do something for my relatives. It was awful. Everything was so icy and it was cold and the wind was blowing. Suffice it to say, we didn't stay out in it for much longer than we had to. So, most of Saturday was spent inside freezing and trying earnestly to stay warm. Sunday came, and we finally had to venture out to get to church...yeah they didn't even call off church for our little icy wintery storm. By the time church was over, we were ready to get back in the house and stay put. And, I think this being static (look it up, folks) all weekend caused my blue feelings. I don't know. Whatever it was is gone now. See, I had breakfast with my father this morning. I'd like to say that my dad is the reason that I'm not down anymore...and I think he probably helped greatly, but the real reason I'm not down comes after breakfast. I was driving home, adjusting the heat in my car when I pulled up to a stop light. I was going through radio stations and landed on one that happened to be playing a song from back when I was in junior high (Name). I turned it up because it's a good song. So, I'm sitting there in my toasty warm car looking at the gray sky and listening to this old song...and suddenly I had this feeling. It was like I was back in time, in junior high again. I mean, I knew that I wasn't 14 again...I was aware that I was sitting in my car, 23 years old, driving home...but I don't know...it was just a feeling of a memory...a good feeling. I get that way a lot when I hear songs. I guess some people would call it nostalgia...but nostalgia doesn't exactly describe it...it's not a bittersweet moment. I always get happy. I never wish I was back in that time. Rather, I always think about how I did have that moment in time, and how happy I am for it. So, I started thinking, and I came to this conclusion. My life has had its fair share of ups and downs, of course...I've had good days along with bad ones...I've gone through things no human should ever have to go through, and likewise I've had some amazingly awesome stuff happen that I'm so thankful for...it all comes down to this one thing...I have memories...I have a past...good or bad...dull or interesting, I AM someone...I have a history...I can remebere that things happened to me because I'm alive and I've lived them...and better yet, all of those memories are unique to me. Sure some people I was with at one time in one of those memories might remember it...but they will not remember it the same exact way that I do...also, they dont' have all the rest of the memories that I have...and, it is a really comforting thought to know that you are someone...that you have thoughts and a history and stories to tell. It makes me feel really good.
posted by Daniele @ 10:58
1 Comments:
That's a great outlook on life. Look at all experiences, good and bad, as a blessing you can learn from and they will make you stronger and wiser. If you don't, you've lost an opportunity that may never come again.
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