Blame It On The Rain
So, tonight we all went to eat at this place we go to every once in a while. About a month and a half ago, the boys and I were in there, and I was asked a rather inappropriate and somewhat offensive personal question. Without going into extreme details, I give you a synopsis of the event:Our waitress and I had gone to part of elementary school and jr high together, and I sort of knew her. So, she takes our orders and asks how I am doing and stuff. Later on, she comes up and asks if she can ask me a personal question. She proceeds to ask me if it is my fault that there are security guards in the malls (the food place is at the mall). It took me a second to really figure out what she meant. I finally realized what she was asking...was the fact that I was kidnapped from a mall parking lot nearly 10 years ago the reason that malls have security guards? First, that's a rude question to ask your customer...even if she knew me well, I was trying to enjoy a nice dinner, and she shouldn't have bothered me with personal questions that might have be sensitive issues for me (luckily, this isn't a sensitive issue for me). Second, it is a stupid question...we have had security guards at our mall since probably before I was born. There are tons of 80's movies set in malls in which security guards are present. Also, one single event that was so small would not cause some huge policy like having security guards present to be put into place. So, how did I reply? I told her I didn't think it was my fault. And she proceeded to tell me that she thought it was because someone she was talking to that she worked with was talking to her about the security guards and told her about me and the girl was like "I didn't say your name but she said it....and I told her I knew you." So, supposedly, I am to blame for mall security guards all across America. w00t!
I was reminded of this story as we ate dinner tonight. I'm rather amused by it...that little me could cause such chaos! So, in light of the recent findings that I am to blame for this particular thing, I've decided to take the blame for other things as well. Let me give you a list of things you can blame me for (and I will make more lists as time goes on):
1) The AIDS epidemic - I was SO behind this one...I am a scientist, you know.
2) Global Warming - Don't believe what you read, folks! I know that recent studies have come out stating that methane gas produced by all the trees planted by celebs in their mini rain forest ecosystems, is to blame...don't for one second think that is the truth. It was ME ME ME!
3) The baseball strike of the early 90's...what can I say? I thought it would be entertaining.
4) The Mullet...no additional comment needed for this one.
5) Constipation...I know, some of you don't have this problem, but many bloggers out there do...you can blame it on me...I did that to you...sorry
6) Donald Trump's hair? Yeah...that was me too.
7) Howard Dean? I created him.
Ok, that's enough. 7 is a perfect number, so I'll leave it at that. One last thing before I go...since I'm taking the blame for all the sucky stuff in life, I figured I could take the blame for something good. So, move over, Al Gore...I totally invented the internet!
Now it's your turn...what can you blame on me? I want to hear...
posted by Daniele @ 20:23
3 Comments:
I don't blame you for anything, well there is one thing. I blame you for being so interesting that I have to come back here every few days to look for your post, even if you only post once in a while.
That waitress has some real issues, you know that, don't you? I can't believe she had the balls to say such a thing. What an ass!
WHEN DO I GET TO HEAR YOUR MUSIC????????
Patience! We're revamping things around here! It will come. Someday you might just turn on MTV and see my cheesy mug grinning back at you...we shall see. Maybe if you're really nice I'll give you a preview...
I have been nice, haven't I? I mean I am your #1 commenter. I don't even know the name of your bands or what you look like, so even if I saw you I wouldn't know who you are.
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