Fish Club

10.21.2006

I Survived

I made it. I'm alive. I feel like hell. I would have posted sooner but right after my surgery, our phones and internet went out because of a stupid accident that happened next to my house.
They gave me this nice happy juice, and it made me not care about anything. I woke up in pain. I've been taking pain meds, but only when I really need to. I'm all bloated from the gas they put in you when doing laproscope. It makes my stomach hurt. I'm feeling better, but I still feel like someone beat the shit out of me. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

10.18.2006

Like A Rolling stone

I have gallstones. My surgery is tomorrow. That's why I haven't been posting. I've been having anxiety issues. I've never had surgery before, so I'm really freaking scared out of my mind. Add on top of that the fear that they will find something bad bad bad (like the big C word) inside me, and you've got a certified bundle of nerves. Add to that forgetting to take my anxiety medication sometimes...and yeah. That's me. Someone please tell me I'll wake up and it will be ok. Please??? Meh. So, I'll post later on if I survive :(

9.11.2006

Rembering What We Lost...

Today we pause to remember those who only 5 years ago lost their lives in one of the greatest tragedies on American soil.
September 11, 2001: I remember walking into the living room and seeing the second plane hit. I had been getting ready for my government class, but when I saw what was happening, I stopped what I was doing and took a moment to think about the people being affected by what was before my eyes. I finished getting ready and went to class. Suffice it to say, we did not learn about that day's intended topic. Our professor spent the time talking with us, speculating with us, discussing with us what had happened, was still happening, and why it had happened. After class I went to visit my aunts who told me about the pentagon and the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania. We were all stunned into silence. In the following days, I watched the news and went online to find out what I could about what had happened. I learned the name Osama bin Laden for the first time...the most evil name on Earth. I watched news report after news report about the various companies whose residence were at either tower one or tower two. I was affected greatly by that day, but until now, I did not have a chance to do something I have wanted to do for 5 years. I wanted to put a face and name to September 11. Now, I finally have that chance. Today, my blog is dedicated to a man who lost his life that day.

Sean B Fegan
Mr. Fegan was a broker for the Fred Alger company. He was a man who loved life and traveling. Mr. Fegan traveled whenever he got the chance. One of his favorite places to travel was Ireland, where his family was from. He enjoyed watching sports games and spending time with his family. He was at work on the 93rd floor of tower one on September 11, 2001 when the planes hit. He died during the terrorist attacks. He was 34 years old. Mr. Fegan left behind a girlfriend, his parents, a brother and sisters. Through his friends and family, his name will not be forgotten, and his love of life will live on through those who knew him best.
Today, I honor the life of Mr. Sean B. Fegan. He may have left the world too soon, but his memory remains forever.
Please pause for a moment of silence sometime today to remember all of the victims of September 11, 2001. If we come together, nothing can defeat us.

9.04.2006

Crocodile Rock

The crocodile hunter has died...and I am so sad. Steve Irwin was a huge inspiration to me. I loved watching his show and learning about the animals...even more, I liked watching him interact with the animals. To most people, he was this Australian looney who grabbed snakes and wrestled crocs. He was so much more than that. Above all, he was a naturalist...something the world needs more of. He was a lover of all animals, as well as a protector of all animals. What most people don't get about him is that he was a huge conservationist. I admired him so much for this. He dedicated his life to helping animals, and along with that, he dedicated his life to teaching the world about animals and how to interact with them, rehabilitate them, and how to treat them. He was a wonderful man who did more good on earth than most of us can boast. There are tears in my eyes as I sit here and write this...he was so young...had two young children and a young wife...and he had so much more to give us. For the world of Science, this truly is a tragedy.

9.03.2006

10 Things I'm Not Sure If You Know About Me

I haven't updated in what seems like forever because...I've been really freaking busy. I've started my job subbing for my mom...it seems to be going well...and cash is something you can't turn your nose up at. That plus some church related bureaucracy bs has kept me busy as a beaver. Anyway, on to my top 10 list of the moment:

1. I was a band geek...played sax for 4.5 years...percussion for 1.
2. I made straight A's in 7th grade on literally EVERYTHING.
3. In 7th grade, I was called to the counselor's office for an incident that did not occur. Some girl had lied about something I said. In high school she told me she had lied to get me in trouble because she hated me because I made better grades than her...bitch.
4. When I play Nintendo, I like to have a box of croutons to munch on.
5. I made straight A's my freshman year of college, also.
6. My parents both went to college in their late 30's-early 40's and got degrees. This inspired me so much more than anything I had ever read about or seen on television.
7. I've never really had a girl best friend. Actually, I have never really had a close friend that was a girl. Now I do. Her name is mom.
8. I'm anal about color coordination and matching and looking "put together" where clothing is concerned for other people, but usually I just bum around in whatever I pull out of the closet.
9. I have recently beaten both quests on Zelda 1.
10. I named my dog after a character from my freshman Latin textbook. His first name means king in Latin.

So yeah...pointless info about yours truly. Hope everyone is having a good time with life. I'm sure I'll have updates from the world of substitute teaching soon. Take care and don't drive drunk and naked. <3

8.17.2006

We Don't Need No Education

What a life...no kidding. So many things have been going on for the last couple of weeks...it's freaking crazy. I feel like I've gone from having no clue about what's next for me to being thrown into situations that I don't have to be but because I'm responsible, I've put myself in. That made no sense, eh?

My mom has to have her gallbladder removed. Yeah, she has stones...major ones. Maybe after the surgery, when we get the stones back I'll take pics and post them...gnarly! Anyway, she is stressed because she has to miss work (she's a teacher). So, I told her I would sub for her class. I've seen her in action for a year since I volunteered last year, I know how to work with kids that age, and I have a college education. Plus, I'm practically my mom's clone (not in looks...look more like dad except for the cute nose and ears)...We even have nearly the exact same handwriting...our writing voices are similar...so much so that a prof we both had in college told us it was weird reading our papers because they sounded so much like the other one would write. Anyway, I digress...so I have thus ventured into the world of professionalism and gotten a job...sort of. I'm promised a couple of days for my mom, and I'm signed up with the school system, so I can call and check on jobs or have them call me...which means I'll likely sub more so I can make some money.
Wow. I have my first real job. Yeah, I know. I'm a spoiled brat...nearly 24 years old and I've never had a real job. I'm lucky, and I know it. My parents always put education first so that I would have a chance at getting a good job later on. They told me that as long as I stayed in school and did my best, they wouldn't make me get a job. So, I stayed in school, did my best (a 3.57 in college with a Bio degree, mind you), and I never had a job. I wouldn't have had time for one, with all my labs and studying. Sure, some of my fellow students had jobs, but it was difficult and their grades suffered. Anyway, point is, my parents are wonderful people who gave me an awesome chance.
And then, when I couldn't figure out what to do after college (work, grad school, professional school, what?), they gave me a chance to figure that out...which brings us to now. I have some good ideas in mind for the future. For right now, I have a job. And, I'm looking into some lab work at the hospital...there are some awesome openings that I think would be great for me (and good pay) while I figure out if what I'm considering doing next is what I really want to do (I'll fill you in on that some other time). So yeah...Ms Fish went out and got a job...yay!
An interesting side note to the job thing...after filling out my application and W4 yesterday at the BOE, I was driving home, and I had sort of a mini wreck. It seemed so much bigger at the time. See, I was crossing this busy street to go into this neighborhood. I forgot that this particular street has this huge dip where it enters the neighborhood. I wasn't even going fast...10mph...20 at the most but I doubt it...anyway, I hit the dip and BAM...yeah. It scared the freaking crap out of me. So then, my car stops working...I'm coasting along...can't turn the car back on...can't stop...brakes don't work...so I pull to the side, put the car into park, and pray to Jesus that it will stop and not hit anything. It stops. I jump out afraid it will blow up or something. (Have I told you that I'm a little psycho?) When it doesn't immediately blow up, I open the door, pop the hood and look under it. Nothing seems out of place, yet my car will not budge. I try to start it a couple of times. It won't start. So, crying like crazy, I call Alan. When he and Kyle get there, he calls my dad who calls the tow truck. So, we wait...me upset that I was so irresponsible even though it was an honest mistake, upset that it will cost so much money, afraid it won't be fixed and that will cost money to get a new vehicle or not have one at all and not be able to work when I finally have a job. Yeah. I'm a freak. Anyway, so they haul it off to the dealership. Turns out, stupid battery was bad. It's 6 years old...never replaced...it wasn't my fault at all. I mean, I did hit the dip, but that didn't do anything to the car (surprisingly)...see what I didn't tell you is that the car had been acting funny the last couple of days...not too bad, though...just a couple of times when I went to start it, it would not start the first time...but I didn't think much of it..was going to mention it to my dad that afternoon...but then it broke down. So yeah, they got me a new battery and did a couple other routine things (fuel injection cleaning or something and an oil change cause it was past its 3000 mark since we went to South Dakota and back). Not great to have to pay nearly 400 dollars, but at least it wasn't my fault. And, I've already decided that after I finish saving up to pay off the hotel bills on my credit card (nearly there), I'm going to give my parents whatever I earn from subbing for my car because they shouldn't have to pay for it...I mean, I know they want to cause they are parents, but I want to do the responsible thing...if I have a job, I should be paying for it, you know?
So I guess that's about it. I've rambled on for long enough. Hope life is well for everyone out there...I love my parents...they are awesome...and with that, I'm out for now <3

8.07.2006

Dangerous Liasons

I had a really good day today. It wasn't anything like going to a cool amusement park or playing a show in front of thousands of people or even winning the lottery and becoming a multimillionaire. It was a normal day...nothing totally out of the ordinary. But, something happened that was real nice. That's all I'm saying. That made my day awesome. Now I'm not so happy and not feeling so awesome. In fact, I'm pretty much bummed. I just yelled at two people I love almost more than anyone else in the world. No, not my parents. My boys. THE boys. Alan and Kyle. And, I feel like crap about it...but it isn't just feeling gulity and feeling bad that I yelled at them. They pretty much deserved it. That's the main reason I feel like crap. I feel like they don't always understand me and what I need or want...Sometimes I even feel like they take me for granted. Tonight, I was trying to read my e-mails quickly so we could go grab some food...instead of letting me do it and get it over with, they stood over me making comments and basically pestering me...and I lost it. I couldn't concentrate and I really wanted to hurry so we could go eat...and they were keeping me from it...and I yelled at them. I know. It seems stupid...it's stupid to get annoyed at them for that...it's stupid of them to annoy me like that...and it's stupid of me to be bummed now. But...sometimes the stupid things are the things that mean the most. I just wish people would be more considerate of me and take the time to consider my needs and wants...and just...think of me once in a while...I mean, I try to do what I can for them (and other people)...but I find myself being the giver in many cases...and it's not that I want to be reciprocated for every good deed...it would just be nice to be the one who someone does something nice for sometime instead of always doing stuff for other people and feeling like they don't care about you as much as you care about them. Bleh. Someone give me a pony.